So today I woke up and was determined to go back to work. I still felt a bit ropey and was very pale but I went for it. After playing tennis with the students as we need the practice for a tournament we are in next week, working my lunch on playground duty and having a particularly lively student all afternoon I was well and truly shattered by the time I came home. So I flopped on the sofa and chilled - I WISH!!!!! Instead I put a load of towels in to wash, cooked tea, went shopping for shorts for hubby, went to the supermarket for our weekly shop. After all this hubby did take me to our local and favourite pub, real ale for him and cappuccino for me. This is the first time we have been for a while as we are trying to save money but because i've not been well it was a treat. It is very reasonable though and a pint of real ale, a very good cappuccino and a bag of real handcooked crisps for less than a fiver! And I did the weekly shop for £16. How frugal was that! Only bought what was on my list and bought some lovely bread reduced. Drew £100 out of the cashpoint and i'm going to try my hardest to make it really last as long as I can.
Right how have I been at work with "Bill". Well the day started with a wobble as I didn't really want to go. This was a mixture of being still unwell and the fact i've had over a week off which always affects me. So it would of been so easy to say I wasn't still well enough to go and cry off again but I didn't. It took a lot to push myself but this is the only way to beat this. So I kept busy, didn't use feeling ill as an excuse not to do playground duty which I hate and pushed on. I had several wobbly moments but I coped. Tonight when we went to Matalan I usually have to have a trolly, this is a safety behaviour that I've become used to. Learned behaviour. The reasoning behind this is that if I feel wobbly I can lean on the trolly until I feel well enough to move on. Tonight was the first time EVER that because I didn't have a pound coin to put in to get one I went in without. About half way around the store I started to feel a bit dizzy but I ploughed on. I wish I could remember that i've done these things the next time but usually I just feel like I can't do it. Think I need to make myself some kind of saying that reminds me of these things that I can say over and over until I believe it. We only ever have one drink at the pub as Hubby has to drive home. He wants to try getting a taxi but being stuck at the pub and having to wait for a taxi is just too much for me at the moment as again this falls into the catagory of being stuck somewhere. Complicated I know but in my head there is a weird sort of logic to it all. Right i'm off for a soak and chill before an early night. Hoping to go to the gym after work tomorrow if I feel up to it.
Take care,
Jules x
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